Please sign our petition; GET HIM OUT, they scream. 3,000,000 signatures.
The mainstream media they’re so afraid of has hoodwinked them. The Murdoch press, Lord Rothermere’s boys’ club, Elon Musk’s X (formerly known as a decent platform). They’ve got people convinced that the Labour government have destroyed all hope that they will turn the country around. That they’re worse than any Tory government we’ve had for the last fourteen years.
Labour’s broken promises, say they, are such that we must hold another general election immediately. Pushed by privately-educated-working-class-hero Nigel Farage, the petition for a new election has gained traction after perceived broken promises have led some voters to feel Labour’s ruling contract has been broken.
These promises include inheritance tax, placed on farmland over £3 million: the poster boy for whom is Jeremy Clarkson, a man who bought a farm specifically to dodge interference tax. There have also been troubling cuts to winter fuel payments for pensioners, which the Tories hit back at with a video of an elderly man wearing a Rolex as he complained about his lack of financial security.
Clearly, these policies are pissing people off – leaving 50,000 more pensioners in poverty is a terrible thing – but the country is deeply broken: a jaundiced, divided nation. Foodbanks are busier than ever, and our last prolonged period of falling poverty was 1999-2005. Difficult decisions must be made. Labour promised change. These people seem to want magic.
We’re all so used to the chaos of Tory Britain, the three-prime-ministers-in-as-many-years, that now anytime something is not quite to our liking we dive for the nuclear option.
What about the petition calling for a second referendum, after the promises put forward by the Big Blonde Wig fell apart like loo roll in bog water? No, no, that would be unconstitutional. Brexit MEANS Brexit. Remember?
The Brexit referendum put power in the hands of ordinary people – every Tom, Dick and Harry became a politician, Facebook their campaign ground. This spoiled the people, such that now they believe they should have a voice for EVERYTHING. Do away with politicians, do away with boring democracy, let’s live in a world of infinite referenda.
Who needs an education, an understanding of basic economics or political consequences? We’ve got big, bleedin’ hearts, and we want to enact their will. They work for me, you know, those posh toffs up top. Shouldn’t they do exactly what I want, all the time? They haven’t fixed this broken country yet, so they probably won’t. Ever.
There is plenty Labour has done wrong, subjectively – not placing a tax on the super rich being top of my list – but to think that a general election is required after four months shows that the un-Great British right will put up with a hundred scandal-gates before they put up with an economic policy they disagree with.
Let’s end with a poem – inspired by former antisemitic Nazi supporter Pastor Martin Niemöller.
First they came for the Facebook racists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Facebook racist
Then they came for the Rolexed pensioners
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Rolexed pensioner
Then they came for the asset-rich farmers
And I did not speak out
Because I was not an asset-rich farmer
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To sign my petition
