Growing up used to be messy, awkward and uncertain. Now, many young girls feel pressure to have it all figured out before they’ve even had the chance to just be kids.
As you grow up, there comes a moment where things begin to feel different, but you can’t exactly explain why. You’re no longer a child, but not yet a teenager either. Instead, you exist awkwardly in-between, still occasionally playing with your Barbie Dolls and crafting the odd charm bracelet. But you’re now also suddenly aware of things you had never thought about before – how you look, how you act and how other people see you.
It’s a stage no one really prepares you for and at times it can feel like the world is ending. Everything seems like it’s changing all at once, your body, interests, friendships and even your favourite television show.
Growing up is not easy for anyone and with social media becoming a part of everyday life at younger ages, girls no longer have the option to experience their awkward phases privately. Instead, they grow up online, constantly exposed to unrealistic beauty standards, fast-moving trends and content aimed at much older audiences.
Safe and age-appropriate spaces for young girls are gradually disappearing. From Toys “R” Us shutting down in 2018 to Claire’s permanently closing their doors in 2026, tweens are growing up in a world with fewer places designed specifically for them.
It’s not just physical spaces which are disappearing, the pop culture that once made tween girls feel seen is fading too. Rather than growing up with after-school Disney Channel shows (which is now strictly on-demand), many girls spend their time scrolling online through short-form content.
Many girls are now skipping straight from childhood into adult culture, without experiencing the awkward but formative in-between stage of growing up.
Family Support Worker and Therapist, Katiucia do Carmo, described the transition between childhood and adolescence as “non-linear”, explaining that growing up is shaped by both internal changes and external influences, affecting girls in different ways.
As girls go through puberty, physical and hormonal changes, combined with the growing influence of social media, can intensify emotions and leave many questioning their sense of self.
Do Carmo said: “I’m increasingly seeing girls feel pressure to grow up faster than they are developmentally ready for.” She explained: “Girls are being exposed at a very early age to images, expectations and lifestyles that are often unrealistic and inappropriate.”
The mother of two expressed concern over many girls internalising narrow and often unattainable standards of beauty, despite the majority of social media being carefully curated, edited and filtered – which can impact body image and self-esteem.
Do Carmo emphasised that this can make young girls feel as though they must grow up quicker than they are ready for, to “fit in” or “belong”. She explained: “I’m seeing more girls striving for a sense of ‘perfection’ at a very young age.”
She recalled working with a young girl who became extremely distressed after not being allowed to attend school wearing fake eyelashes: “For her, this was not just about appearance, it was closely linked to her sense of confidence and belonging.”
Do Carmo actively worked to support the girl in separating her self-worth from her appearance and recognise who she is beyond how she looks: “You are already enough as you are. You don’t need to rush into growing up, there is value in your age, exploring who you are and doing things you enjoy.”
According to Youth Leader Hannah Molloy, from Eastgate Church in Kent, many girls are facing anxieties over relationships, body image and identity. She explained how many girls worry about “making and keeping friendships”, as they are often concerned over how they appear in social situations, judgement and how to be accepted by others.
“They are hyper aware of what they’re wearing or not wearing,” explained Molloy, adding that many girls now engage in “less silly play” and are often more afraid to take risks or fully express themselves socially, in attempt to avoid embarrassment.
Comparing today’s girls to her own experience growing up in the 90s, Molloy expressed growing concern on the pressures surrounding appearance: “They are all working out or dieting and there is a huge amount of food intake management. I think this has made them unkinder to themselves.”
Unlike older generations, young girls are growing up with constant comparison. Social media can make it seem as though others are living a “perfect life”, when in reality it often only shows the highlights – not the awkward, confusing or difficult parts of growing up that are rarely shared. Trying to reach standards which ultimately don’t exist, will only lead to further dissatisfaction and insecurity.
English Teacher Marcia Ciuffetelli said: “Girls are maturing much quicker now and we’re seeing that directly in the classroom.” She explained that supporting youth must be a collaborative effort between parents, guardians and educators.
Ciuffetelli added: “Families need more education on how fast the world is changing, parents sometimes don’t realise the deeper impacts of technology and how it can expose young girls to content they aren’t quite ready for and force them to mature quicker.”
There will still be some days where everything feels like its changing and you don’t quite know why. But this in-between stage is something every girl goes through in their own way.
Growing up doesn’t mean becoming someone new overnight, and there is no right way to “act your age”, it’s slowly figuring out what feels right for you and enjoying becoming who you’re meant to be.